Oh, Washington!

The girls and I got off of the plane in Seattle last weekend and I said, "Ah, it's good to be home!!" Oh, wait. I don't live here... but it sure FEELS like I do... amongst the wonderful friends, familiar places, plenty of good coffee, and that good 'ol grey sky.

Ready for takeoff.

It's not a party until someone gets a strange balloon animal.

On our way to Gig Harbor with the Rozema girls to see the Vaccaros

Vaccaro, Rozema and Eckert kids (minus Ben and Sadie)

Rozema's House

The girls stay entertained while Ron recruits at Seattle Pacific.

Ron booked my flight to and from Seattle on the spur of the moment which means we flew home on separate flights. Ron took Sadie with him since she's still free and doesn't need a seat and Rosie and I flew home together. Rosie's a piece of cake to travel with... guess what I did on the way home? Read a b.o.o.k. I never thought the day would come.

Skype for Tots

Much to my chagrin, my preschooler is becoming pretty technologically savvy. She can play the Curious George and Clifford games on PBSkids.com like it's nobody's business and she can work my phone better than I can. There's nothing like waking up from your nap and hoping onto Skype to chat with your cousins. They talked about the important things: boxes of raisins, Disneyland, and gymnastics. Lucy and Henry showed Rosie their best silly faces and Rosie showed them her best jumps.

WE ARE OK!

We are surfacing, and our little family of 4 is doing just fine. Grief like this teaches us about letting go and hanging on to the right things. We are keenly aware of God's tender mercies and are so grateful for His many many blessings in our lives. To be totally honest, I did not know what joy in the midst of pain looked like. My husband is no stranger to loss... and he helps me recognize the joy. Do you want to know what some of my joy looks like?

Baby

Just wanted you to know that we lost the baby yesterday. It was a boy. We are so sad. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

When the darkness closes in, still I will say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Thankful

Ron and I saw the baby today on the ultrasound. The little one is hanging in there. I go to a fetal diagnostics doctor on the 18th, giving a little time to heal. At that point the doctor will see if the hemmorhage has reabsorbed at all, and re-evaluate my bed rest. I thought I'd share with you a verse that I have been thinking a lot about during the time on my back.....

From The Message, Philippians 4: 10-14

I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.

I'm replacing some of the words... I don't think Eugene Peterson, Paul, Timothy or God mind, do you? I'm replacing the words, "hands" with "ARMS"... so that it says, whether arms full or arms empty. My arms have felt empty these last 72 hours, not being able to hold my girls, and thinking about losing baby #3. I'm certainly working towards Paul's words. Not there yet.

I'm so incredibly grateful for the outpouring of love in such a short amount of time! You wouldn't believe the prayers, thoughts, meals, childcare, magazines, DVDs, texts etc. that we've received. It's a good thing I am flat on my back- I'm weak with gratitude. THANK YOU!!

Please Pray

I'm wondering if you might pray with us?

On Monday night Ron and I went to the ER. I was experiencing heavy bleeding. I had a large subchoriatic hemorrhage. The ultrasound showed that the little one's heartbeat is still strong, but we're at a risk of losing the baby. A 50/50 chance at this point. I'm on strict bedrest and it's basically a waiting game. It's a lesson in letting go of control and focusing on healing. I have moments where I am very fearful, but we're trusting in the Lord and his plan for our family.

After the doctor came in and gave his diagnoses, poor Ron passed out. It had been a long evening indeed. They wheeled in an extra bed and got Ron hooked up to monitor his vitals as well. At one point, my blood pressure was looking better than his :)

Christmas 2010

It's truly A Wonderful Life

Rosie as an angel in the Christmas Eve service

Christmas Eve/Christmas Day with Papa and Mimi and the Hunts

Ron's 4oth birthday Duffy ride around Newport Harbor

Spontaneous Rose Bowl Parade morning... what fun!!

Although the floats were fun, Sadie was much more excited about this Graham Cracker :)